“Normal” and “Abnormal”

Sexual Behaviors in Children

 

Children begin to explore their bodies at a very young age.  For most parents, when they see that their child is starting to become interested in the child’s private parts, it can be very disturbing or concerning.  However, this behavior is normal in certain contexts.  At a very young age, sometimes as early as 2 years old, children will begin touching their own bodies and discovering their genitals by poking, pulling, or rubbing themselves.  As children begin to understand that they have these private parts, it is important that parents recognize this behavior for what it is, and provide guidance to their children to help them learn what these parts are, what these parts are used for, and that other people should not be looking at or touching those parts as well.

 

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) there are certain behaviors that are considered normal, or common, sexual behaviors in children ages 2 through 6 years old.  It is important to recognize that when children engage in any of these behaviors, that it is likely normal development and not necessarily indicative of sexual or physical abuse.  However, parents also need to provide instruction to their children at these times telling their children the proper names for those body parts (not cute nicknames for them like “butterfly” or “ding-ding”).  Parents should also emphasize to their child that these are not appropriate behaviors for the child to engage in publicly or in front of other people. Children should know that it is “not OK” for someone to look at or touch their private parts, and that it is “not OK” for the child to look at or touch other people on their private parts either.

 

The following is a list of normal or common sexual behaviors in children aged 2 through 6 years old.  It should be considered appropriate for parents and caregivers to use these incidents as learning opportunities for the child, but parents should never punish the child for engaging in these behaviors.

 

1. The child engages in touching or masturbating of their own genitals in private or public.

2. The child engages in viewing or touching of peer or new sibling genitals.

3. The child shows their genitals to peers.

4. The child engages in standing or sitting too close to others.

5. The child tires to view peer or adult nudity.

6. The child engages in these behaviors in ways that are transient or not often, and in ways that the child is easily distractible from those behaviors.

 

The following is a list of less common sexual behaviors in children aged 2 through 6 years old.  It should be noted that these behaviors should not be considered alarming but should be closely monitored for progressive changes.  Again, these opportunities should be viewed by parents and caregivers as good learning opportunities to address body safety topics with their child.

 

1. The child is rubbing the child’s own body against others.

2. The child tries to insert tongue into other’s mouths while kissing.

3. The child engages in touching of peer or adult genitals.

4. The child engages in crude mimicking of movements that can be associated with sexual acts.

5. The child engages in sexual behaviors that are occasionally done but persistent, and/or that are disruptive to others.

6. The child engages in sexual behaviors that are transient, but moderately responsive to distraction by caregivers.

 

The following is a list of uncommon sexual behaviors in “normal” children aged 2 through 6 years old.  These behaviors should be seen as definitely concerning and should likely be addressed through some kind of specialized, professional intervention, such as behavioral therapy and treatment.

 

1. The child asks peers or adults to engage with the child in specific sexual acts.

2. The child inserts objects into their genitals.

3. The child engages in explicit imitation of sexual intercourse.

4. The child touches animal genitalia.

5. The child engages in sexual behaviors that are more frequent and disruptive to others, and that are persistent and resistant to parental distraction.

 

The following is a list of sexual behaviors that are considered “rarely normal” in children aged 2 through 6 years old. These behaviors are strong indicators that the child is in immediate need of professional intervention from a medical and/or mental health provider. It is also very likely that the child will need a formal investigation by a trained and experienced child sex crimes investigator to determine the cause of these behaviors as there is a strong likelihood that the child has been exposed to sexual abuse of some kind.

 

1. The child engages in any sexual behaviors involving children who are 4 or more years apart in age.

2. The child displays a variety of sexual behaviors that are displayed on a daily basis.

3. The child engages in sexual behaviors that results in emotional distress or physical pain to either the child themselves or anyone else.

4. The child engages in sexual behaviors that are associated closely with other physically aggressive behaviors.

5. The child engages in sexual behaviors that involve coercion in some way.

6. The child engages in sexual behaviors that are persistent in nature, and where the child becomes emotionally upset or angry if they are distracted from those sexual behaviors.

 

If you or someone you know is experiencing or has experienced this type of abuse, please contact your local CPS and Law Enforcement today.  

 

Or contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453).

 

It is typically mandatory under the law in any state, that these things be immediately reported to law enforcement once a disclosure of sexual abuse is made by any person.  Failure to do so and act protectively for a child may be a crime depending on the circumstances.  Even if you or someone else was the victim of sexual abuse as a child, and the victim is an adult today, you should still report it to the authorities.